By Lexi Hoffman, M.A.

Featured Articles “Start planning a family event or holiday gathering and enlist the children’s help with shopping lists, phone calls and research.”

For many parents of school-age children, the New Year begins after the summer ends. Like all new beginnings, it offers a much anticipated change. Parents of school-age children often look forward to the change. Sibling rivalry may have been at an all-time high during the summer. Limits have been lax, and while vacations have offered some relaxed, fun family time, most parents agree that it’s time to get back to that good old structure that provides stability to all of us.

While children don’t often admit they are ready for summer to end, the predictable routines that classrooms, homework, after-school play, dinner and bedtime offer can feel comforting to them. Research shows that routine and structure are necessary for healthy family functioning. By adding a little flexibility and humor, a family can really thrive.

Now is the perfect time to meet as a family to set goals for the upcoming school year. This will provide an opportunity to enhance family communication, as well as a forum to discuss and clarify limits on TV, homework, bedtime and chores. During the meeting, family members can share worries and help each other, as well as anticipate and plan some family fun in the fall, like pumpkin carving during Halloween and holiday celebrations. Some family rules will remain the same, while others need to change as summer fades into the past and children develop and take on more mature challenges.

In my family, we started having versions of family meetings when my children were as young as 4. We depend upon our family meetings to settle disagreements and create change. From our meetings have come wonderful creative lists and schedules for chores, designed and agreed upon by my children, decisions about how to manage hamster and turtle care, and mutually acceptable lunch and dinner menus.

Here are some ways you can arrange for your family to gather together:

• Set a regular time and place for family meetings. Collect agenda items. Post them in a conspicuous place like on the refrigerator door.
• Set a tone of goodwill and begin the meeting with compliments. Ask family members if anyone has a thank-you or compliment for another. Children can be very generous and praise can be contagious, especially when parents model it.
• If an agenda item is consuming too much time, agree to table it until the next week.
• Allow everyone to be heard and make decisions by consensus.
• Let your older children facilitate and write down solutions and lists.
• Discuss weekly schedules and dispense allowances.
• Start planning a family event or holiday gathering and enlist the children’s help with shopping lists, phone calls and research.
• End the meeting with some family fun. Serve dessert, watch a movie or play a game.