Family Tips Archives Read past Family Tips here. Parents Can Take a Time-Out, Too

Homework can be an especially emotional issue for parents and children. Here are some tips to tackle this age-old problem.

Consider your child's temperament and learning style. If your child tends to do better with short periods of concentration, create a homework structure that honors that (30 minutes before dinner and 30 minutes after dinner). Perhaps your child focuses better in the afternoon. Then again, you may have a child that is a night owl and doesn't require a lot of sleep. When, where and how long a child sits to do homework can be different for each child. Consider who your child is and agree upon a schedule that is likely to be effective.

Modify an environment that is conducive to work. Equipment and materials (pencils, paper, tape, computer, magazines, scissors, ruler, etc.) should be on hand. Does your child work better at a table or propped up against a pillow on the floor? Could it be helpful to provide a healthy snack before or during homework? Consider what works best, agree to it and make it part of the structure. When organizing the structure, ask respectful questions like, "What do you think?" and "Which would you prefer?"

As the child is doing his homework, take note by noticing effort, diligence, creativity and initiative. By encouraging children during (not after) homework time, they feel recognized and motivated to continue. Say things like, “I noticed you settled into your homework right away." "You went the extra mile when you looked that word up in the dictionary." "Your diagram shows a lot of detail and effort." These kinds of comments speak to character rather than the end product. It is character development that we want to think about as we guide children in their homework.

Reward children with encouraging words or sometimes a privilege or reward. Instead of a threat, "If you don't finish that homework", remember to say things like, "As soon as you're finished, you can watch 30 minutes of TV.”

Children's readiness and development play a large part in ability to focus on homework. These days many children are stressed because of participation in too many activities. The balance of activity and downtime has a direct impact on how effectively kids can accomplish homework. As they grow, they are more and more capable. Parents can help children internalize self-discipline and independence by speaking respectfully, creating a realistic structure and recognizing work and effort with encouragement or rewards.